


what captivates us is bigger than who we are

by prettyskylark



Category: Tanz der Vampire - Steinman/Kunze
Genre: Blood, Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:42:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyskylark/pseuds/prettyskylark
Summary: "This stupid, reckless girl stared in the eyes of a vampire, kept coming to his abode completely unruffled but seemed perfectly aware of her actions."Set before, during, and slightly after the events of Tanz der Vampire.
Relationships: Sarah Chagal/Graf von Krolock
Kudos: 15





	what captivates us is bigger than who we are

**Author's Note:**

> PSA: There are as many interpretations of these characters as there are actors portraying them. Everyone brought something new and each production and its staging created a new perspective. However, there was a couple of recordings that inspired me and they are as follows:
> 
> Totale Finsternis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfvsKcmvZFE&list=LL4FpqoOv76TxN32a8TduDaQ&index=13&t=0s  
> Tanzsaal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBTRLG18xY0&list=LL4FpqoOv76TxN32a8TduDaQ&index=4&t=0s  
> Die Unstillbare Gier https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ_5Ys-kQEE&list=LL4FpqoOv76TxN32a8TduDaQ&index=5&t=0s
> 
> FYI I missed the deadline of my bachelor's thesis (haven't even started writing it) because I spent 13 days writing this thing.

Loneliness might have been a burden to mortals but to vampires, it was one of their furthest problems.

There was a reason why his castle was situated up on a hill, on the outskirts of the village nearby, far from human’s routes. Well aware of each other’s presences, people and vampires kept to themselves, bonded by an unsaid truce that granted both groups protection. The villagers wouldn’t tell on the vampires and the vampires wouldn’t hunt on the villagers. Of course, basic interactions, usually forced by the need of trade, took place, but other than that, those two groups weren’t known for crossing each other’s paths. That also meant solitude and solitary but with immortality often came patience. The years didn’t pass as they did for the mortals so even if the days dragged out in boredom and loneliness, they learned to ignore it.

Whenever Count von Krolock needed something from the village, be it a purchase he wished to make or a mandatory obligation to collect charges for the land, he sent out his trusted servant Koukol to do his bidding. Koukol, with his hunched back and disfigured face, who mostly communicated in unaidable noises was yet another way to keep people away. People were too appalled by him to ever follow to the castle and its inhabitants.

He was about to go down to the crypt for a good day’s sleep (some formalities kept him up longer than usual, with the sun already traveling up the blue sky) when something stirred his senses. A presence, a beating heart approaching from a distance. He walked up slowly to the nearest window, careful as not to step into the deadly rays of sun casting bright, sharp lines on the floor. He scanned the ground surrounding the gates and there she was. A young girl, couldn’t have been much older than 16 years of age, wrapped up in a thick coat, with her searching gaze fixed upon the towering building in front of her. She was coming in closer and then taking a few steps back and again as if contemplating different perspectives. A mass of long, auburn locks fell over her face when she dipped and looked back up. There was no fear, no hesitation in her expression, only curiosity.

She reached in between the clapper flaps of her coat and retrieved an envelope, then delicately placed it against metal bars of the gate. Her fingers lingered at the barrier before she took one last glance at the castle and walked away. There was a light bounce to her step, she even twirled happily as she turned over her shoulder twice to study the fortress from afar. At last, her small figure disappeared within the forest.

He wished he didn’t have to call for Koukol to get it and could have taken it himself because bewilderment got the better of him but he couldn’t ignore the inconvenient (and most importantly deadly) sunlight bathing the castle in its golden shine. He stood at the top of the stairs, tapping the tips of his fingernails against one another impatiently, cursing for once the slowed down movements of his servant. Finally, he snatched the envelope from Koukol trembling hands, muttering quick thanks, and took a good look at it. An unfamiliar, sinking tug of disappointment filled his guts as he scanned the letter, it being a usual message from the innkeeper from the village, nothing concerning the unusual girl that had gotten it delivered. The parchment smelled of the inn, a suffocating stench of garlic lingering on the paper, but the envelope in itself still held some of the warmth and scent of the girl from when she had kept it inside of her coat. A very light, clean smell that made him think of some sort of rose oil.

“Koukol” the Count called out, still turning the envelope over in his long fingers, “Do you know the girl who came by the castle today?”

The man nodded his head fiercely and grunted out some words, using his hands to gesticulate expressively. Krolock has gotten better at interpreting those messages so he gathered it was the innkeeper’s daughter. He has never seen the girl before and thought it peculiar, since she was no longer a child and he has known the Chagal family for generations, he sure would have noticed by now they had a daughter. He also found it unusual that she would deliver the message personally since they had a maid hired to run their errands if needed. Thinking not much of it, he resumed his interrupted journey to the crypt to finally get some rest, or at least as much of it as his vampire life allowed.

***

It happened again.

This time it was nearly sunset and he has just woken up from his slumber and was walking absently around the castle. It was the only time when he let Koukol keep the heavy curtains open, for the sun no longer shun but its colorful remains reflecting on the sky spilled inside of the castle, painting it in rich pinks and hot oranges. He passed by one of the windows when he spotted her. A little dot with hair the color of the setting sun, already turning the corner of the castle, disappeared from his sight.

Krolock rushed to another window and then another to keep his eyes on the Chagal daughter who apparently wanted to scrutinize the entire castle. He had to cross the long corridors and run up and down some stairs as to not lose her from sight. It made him pass by some places of the castle he hasn’t seen in ages. Sometimes she would squint her eyes as if to study something more intently, sometimes she would just skim her green eyes over something and smile to herself. A very puzzling smile, the source of which Krolock could not figure out. The girl kept humming a melody, unafraid of anyone hearing, loud enough for him to listen to her clear voice. After she came back to the front gate she cocked her head to the side and stood there for a short while, looking the castle up and down, as if engraving it into her memory. She didn’t leave anything this time. And this time her mysterious visit proved to be harder for Krolock to get out of his mind.

***

„Father, there’s a girl staring.”

Herbert’s voice was curious, distant. If it weren’t for the abnormality of the statement, his father might not have paid attention at all.

“What?”

“A girl. She’s standing outside of the castle. Staring.”

He quickly got up from behind the table where he was reading a book and joined his son by the window. He already knew who he should expect at his front gate and he was not disappointed. She hasn’t come by in around two weeks so he wasn’t sure whether her visits were truly deliberate and he had to admit that unresolved puzzle kept nagging at his brain quietly.

“Who is this child? She’s not lost, she has come here before but never dared to come inside. They rarely come this close unless they’re not from the village and know better.” Krolock pondered quietly until the strangest thing happened. The girl looked directly at his widow and locked eyes with him.

He didn’t imagine it as he heard Herbert gasp at his side. There was no doubt the girl saw him even if he must have been nothing but a vague figure from a distance. She must have known who he was, if not from her father than from the other villagers, and yet she didn’t look surprised nor scared. With her face turned to the castle, cheeks deliciously flushed, a daring glint sparkled in her green eyes and that same puzzling smile graced her lips. He would have felt hunger, the mere presence of fresh, young blood intoxicating and calling if it weren’t for the overwhelming sense of shock freezing him in his tracks. This stupid, reckless girl stared in the eyes of a vampire, kept coming to his abode completely unruffled but seemed perfectly aware of her actions.

He didn’t want to break the gaze, as childish as he felt staring back at a child at his gates. Herbert huffed out a laugh and said something his father didn’t catch. The girl blinked a couple of times, played with her hair absently, and wrapped herself tighter in her coat before turning on her heel and simply walking away. Only this time Krolock had no other option but to follow.

***

The moon illuminated the rooftops of many cottages with a silver glisten when Krolock appeared in the village under the cover of night. It wasn’t hard to find the innkeeper’s house, as it usually brimmed with loud regulars and drunk travelers. But even above all that noise, there could be heard a commotion at the back of the house, where the Chagal family lived. Raised voices echoed into the night as the Count crept behind one of the windows.

“But Papa, I didn’t do anything wrong!” Pleading cries of the girl rang in the chilly air.

“You could have gotten lost! Or died! Or worse! Don’t you understand how dangerous it is out there?”

“Why must you always disobey the rules? What a stubborn, reckless child!” A woman’s complaint joined the tirade, more helpless than angry.

“But you said I was allowed to leave! All I did was walk around the forest! It’s not far from home, I would have known my way back! I’ve done it before!”

“Rebecca, do you hear that!?” Old Chagal’s voice bellowed above the cries of his daughter and the terrified gasps of his wife, “She has done that before! We thought you were not a child no more, we thought you could be trusted, but you’re still a foolish, little girl!”

The daughter must have turned on her heel and left the room, stomping loudly, before closing the door with a bang and entering another room, possibly her own. A moment later the door opened again and her father came in. Frustrated sobs turned into irritated sniffles as Chagal sat on his daughter’s bed. His temper had gotten the better of him, now his voice sounded quieter, laced with parental worry, as if not to startle the child any further.

“My beloved Sarah, I’m just worried about you. You’re my only child, as a father, I must do everything to protect you. And out there, there’s so much that could hurt my precious daughter. So no more walks outside of the village.”

The girl, _Sarah_ as Krolock has learned, let out a whimper of protest but Chagal already got up and left the room, having found the argument resolved and finished. She huffed and puffed, pacing the small space back and forth before striding up the window and opening it fiercely. She leaned on the windowpane and sighed, not knowing Krolock hid at an arms-reach from her. Her sweet scent carried with the wind and made hunger pull dangerously at his predatory instincts.

He wanted to wait before leaving till she went to sleep but Sarah only sighed and stared into the night.

“A child…” she muttered angrily, “Am no longer a child. I should be allowed to go wherever I pleased. Go places, meet people, be free from this house and this life.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Krolock’s lips. Her problems seemed so trivial compared to the constant pain of damnation that he had to face, yet her greed was just as strong as his. He could smell it in her blood now that she stood so close. An exhilarating palate of flavors, a mix of determination, curiosity, and passion, laced with that overwhelming hunger for _something more_.

Finally, she started getting ready for bed, yawning every once in a while as she slipped under the covers, humming the same melody she always did when she stood outside of the castle. Not being able to help himself, Krolock hummed back a low harmony, barely above a whisper. Suddenly Sarah fell quiet, her breath hitched in her throat. A minute of electrifying silence passed. He didn’t mean to startle her, didn’t mean to make his presence known. He shouldn’t have come here in the first place.

And then she sang the last verse of the song in a quiet voice before her breathing slowed down and sleep took hold of her completely. He didn’t respond this time. He didn’t have to.

***

Chagal did mean what he said about not allowing Sarah to leave anywhere beyond her parents’ vigilant eyes and alert ears.

Since she tasted freedom for a short while around her 16thbirthday, the next one she spent locked away in her room in the back of the inn. The girl had a real knack for stumbling upon the extraordinary which, paired up with her unusual stubbornness, could get her in trouble she tried to charm her way out of. Didn’t help the fact that Sarah grew more beautiful each passing day, an assent she didn’t particularly care for yet couldn’t deny. So despite often having a shortage of hands to help around the inn, Chagal kept his promise and didn’t let Sarah roam around the space, as not to attract too many lustful and potentially dangerous observers. Krolock couldn’t care less for those restrictions as they only applied to mortals.

Sometimes he liked leaving the castle at night. With the village immersed in slumber, he could safely move in-between their habitats and quietly observe, sometimes with distaste and sometimes with bittersweet envy. Those who drunk their life away and mistreated their loved ones made for an easy excuse to soothe what was left of his conscience when he was feeding on them. What a waste of human life, what a pitiful example of its kind. But those who bathed in the warmth of loving embraces stirred something deep within him, something that ached but also gave hope. Not for him, for he was a hopeless case, beyond redemption, but for all those that still believed there was something worth living for.

But now whenever he set off on those nightly strolls it always somehow led him to the inn where the most interesting creature in the village lived. The more he observed Sarah Chagal the more puzzled he felt. Puzzled with how the girl made him feel, just how captivated and persistent.

His very first visits to her window felt more like payback for how she had interrupted his peace of mind. She had come to his house and dared to sneak a peek inside, he was allowed to do the same. He never showed himself but made sure to underline an air of his presence. To make Sarah feel like she was not alone. And subconsciously or not, she knew she was being watched. And surprisingly she seemed not to care.

That was the thing that made Krolock come back time and time again. Those first few frantic heartbeats of hers the moment she realized he must have been near. He could smell enjoyment in her blood, a sudden rush of excitement before it got replaced by contentment, by a weird sense of serenity. A prospect of adventure, of possible danger delighted her because it pushed away the agonizing boredom and frustration. At first, he thought maybe she was one of those cursed individuals, dissatisfied with life so much they would attempt to take their own life. But he quickly realized she was too determined, too joyful in nature to wish such a thing. Sarah understood there was a thrilling possibly just out of reach of the ordinary and would suffer its lack until she got it.

The last remaining shred of morality prevented him from taking advantage of her desires. He could have slipped into her room and put his mouth on that slender, pale neck of hers. How sweet, how innocent and willing she would taste. He even could have offered her immortality, snatched her up to his castle. But Sarah was yet to become a young woman. Still a child he saw her unfit to make those types of decisions. So Krolock vowed to himself that he would wait till her 18thbirthday and if she still desired such a fate, he would gift it to her. Till then he would observe her intently and he did just that with ever-growing pleasure.

***

“I picked the most charming ones. As you had asked. As red as blood.”

Herbert placed a pair of deliciously crimson boots on the table in front of his father. His sharp, distinctly beautiful features, that he had inherited from both of his parents, were set in polite indifference but his eyes told a different story. They were gleaming with mischief and curiosity. Krolock smiled slightly at him with gratitude.

“I still do not understand what the whole fuss is about.”

“It’s a birthday gift,” Krolock replied calmly, wishing not to elaborate any further. Koukol hobbled up to him to accept the boots now wrapped up in a matching red scarf. A scarf that once belonged to Herbert’s late mother.

“It’s an awful lot of trouble for one mortal girl.”

“That mortal girl is going to be the special guest on our ball this year so I should imagine it’s worthy of a special kind of celebration.”

The boots might have been an unnecessary touch, a simple invitation would have sufficed but he wanted to do something that would make her happy. Partly because he didn’t want her feet catching any more splinters and partly because he felt bad for her father punishing her earlier. A punishment he found a bit of his guilt in.

What Krolock didn’t explain to his son was how all this time Sarah kept looking at the outline of the castle visible from her window and how she would often dance in her room barefoot until splinters from the wooden floor cut her skin, imagining she was crossing the intricate floor of the ballroom. How the burning yearning within her made her blood turn so sweet it got his head spinning. How just a couple of days ago a young boy showed up at the inn and lost his head upon seeing Sarah and how her heart sped up at the sight of him the same way it did when Krolock was around. How irrationally frustrated it made him feel and pushed to face the girl for the first time to remind her where her heart truly lied. And finally how all this time of patience and waiting almost turned out to be in vain and he would have taken her mortality there and then had it not been for that irritating boy’s interruption. For he would have let her go if she truly desired but knowing her willingness and devotion he would not let anyone else make her anyone’s but his.

***

Miraculously Sarah did appear at the castle’s gate. He has not been nervous in decades and somehow this precious, young thing took away not only his vampire power but also manly bravery. Just because she accepted his invitation and yearned for immortality at his hands didn’t mean she wanted him as well. He could offer her eternal beauty with one deadly kiss to her neck but would not impose on anything else, much to her apparent dismay. Vampires had no compunction about seducing their prey and mortals gladly welcomed them into their beds as well but there was something about Sarah’s utter openness and trust towards him that stopped him in his tracks. How could he lay his unliving hands on her fragile skin? And yet she turned towards him instead of cowering in fear, went after him instead of running in the opposite direction.

The first few days with her in the castle were peculiar, to say the least. He gave her one of the most lavish chambers, with a bed so big it took more space than her entire bedroom at the inn and a bathroom so spacious she could sleep in it if she wanted. He knew just how much she loved taking baths and had Koukol fetch from the village some of the finer oils and essentials for her enjoyment. In all honesty, Krolock had thought they would rarely see each other before the ball, with how enormous the castle was it was possible for her to wander down its halls and still never cross his path. And yet somehow she always found him.

It didn’t matter if he was in the ballroom, the study, the impressive library, or strolling down the corridors. After a while, a mess of auburn locks would pop into the room, sometimes for a moment just to sneak a peek and sometimes to keep him silent company. That was the thing that unnerved him the most. With Herbert keeping mostly to himself in his private chambers, Krolock was used to the solitude and stillness of his everyday existence. Starved for freedom for so many years Sarah was thriving being able to go wherever her feet led her. She found everything fascinating, looking at every little detail with great interest, humming to herself when something particularly caught her attention. And she seemed to be intrigued by Krolock as well. He didn’t know what to make of it at first so when it happened for the second time while he was reading by the fireplace he turned to her and asked suddenly:

“Do you need anything?”

She was taken aback by the question and he winced at his sharp voice. He didn’t mean to sound harsh, it’s just been a very long while since someone studied him as intensely with no fear nor disgust. She looked at him with the same curiosity, and a puzzling smile as she used to do in front of the castle.

“No.” Sarah didn’t sound upset though, and after a beat of silence she added, “Am I bothering you?”

“No.” he answered quietly after a while, surprised by his own soft tone and by the sincerity of that statement. They stared at each other for a moment longer before Sarah smiled that small, warm smile of hers that would have looked playful on anyone else, got up and left, resuming her exploration. Krolock came back to his lecture, suddenly having found it more difficult to focus on the text in front of him.

***

Sarah tried as hard as she might to stay up late and turn herself into a night bird in a matter of days but after taking a warm bath she often lost her fight with exhaustion. Krolock waited until she was well settled in-between the velvet bedsheets and fast asleep until he came to her bedchamber with a gift.

In his arms he brought a wonderful ballgown. The creation was a deep crimson color, with glistening bedazzlement of precious gems on the bodice that sparkled and spilled downwards like droplets of blood. He placed it on a vanity, knowing it would be the first thing Sarah saw upon waking up, before turning around and facing her bed. It’s been a while since he saw her sleeping and the sight brought a crease of wonder between his brows. Her red hair was fanned across the pillow, creating a striking contrast with her pale face. Her lips were parted slightly and he watched mesmerized how her chest rose and fell with each breath. Sarah turned her head, exposing her neck and he had to stop himself from hissing hungrily. Even from afar he could spot the point pulsing deliciously with the beat of her heart. Maybe if he could just come a little bit closer… Her intoxicating smell filled his senses as he traced a careful finger down her cheek, the slope of her neck only to stop at the pulse point. Krolock felt his fangs digging painfully into his bottom lip and his whole body tensing from a predatory urge. Suddenly the girl turned to her side and placed a hand atop of the sheets, palm up, fingers curled impatiently. Krolock took a step back, trying to regain even the weakest forms of self-control over himself, but he didn’t walk away just yet. Curious, he pressed the tip of his finger to the pulsating spot on her wrist before moving it to the center of her palm. Much to his surprise she grabbed his hand lightly in her sleep and squeezed it for a moment. The sight of her small, delicate palm holding onto his unnaturally long, pale fingers brought a small smile to his lips. What an interesting, little creature she was.

In a couple of hours, he passed by her bedchamber again, just in time to hear her stir and slowly awaken. The first conscious breath she took was always a delight, a sharp inhale ripped from her chest that filled her with life. After some rustling of sheets, she must have opened her eyes because he heard the sound that he was waiting for. A surprised gasp followed by a delighted squeal before Sarah rushed out of the bed and ran to examine the ballgown from up close. He heard her laughter and stomping as she twirled like a little girl, dancing around the room with the dress swooshing with her every movement.

What brought him real joy though was Sarah’s first encounter in the castle with the boy, Alfred. He had arrived at his doorstep with Professor Ambronsius and while Krolock did not deny them shelter under his roof, he suspected their intentions towards him. How the Professor hoped to put an aspen stake through him and Alfred planned on rescuing Sarah from whatever distress he imagined she was in. But the girl couldn’t care less for his lovesick imagination. She announced while taking yet another long bath full of fragrant bubbles that she would attend the ball despite the boy’s warnings, being aware of any possible dangers but ignoring them nonetheless. There was a sense of uneasiness bothering Krolock since Alfred’s arrival, an uncomfortable worry that upon seeing the boy here Sarah would change her mind about immortality or about Krolock himself. If needed he wanted to use Herbert’s help in creating a distraction, something that his son did with pleasure as he genuinely fancied the mortal boy. But Sarah’s brief moment of infatuation has passed and even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, it made Krolock irrationally satisfied. Happy even.

Knowing she had made her decision, he watched the clock ticking away minutes to the ball, and both of their desires finally getting fulfilled.

***

Soft twilight slowly gave way to mysterious dusk, erasing the last traces of light from the grounds and bathing them in milky fog. From the direction of the cemetery, dripping with the ghostly mist appeared many figures. Their hunched, crooked bodies trembled in hunger and excitement, low rumbles coming from their throats made the ground reverberate dangerously. Each year they emerged from their graves just in time to join the ball, filled with bitter exhaustion of eternal existence and insatiable greed. The deadly convoy made its way towards the castle as Krolock passed by them quietly, out of their sight. It was rare for the cemetery to be completely abandoned, free of tormented souls hissing and scratching at the insides of their coffins. There was an eerie, comforting atmosphere around it at the moment, one that could help clear Krolock’s head.

He should have been excited. He has been waiting for so long, not only to feed on a living mortal but to taste the blood of a girl that has captured his attention, his feelings even, for so long. Sarah with her auburn locks falling on that soft, pale neck. Sarah with her big, curious eyes and a daring smile. They both have been waiting for that moment for a long while and the anticipation should have made the celebration all that sweeter. Instead the closer he got to finally savoring her blood in exchange for eternal life the more dreadful he felt. Krolock looked over the graveyard absently and then his eyes fell on a particular tombstone that made him stop in his tracks. He realized the reason for his uneasiness all at once. The night swallowed the world, darkness creeping up Krolock’s cape making him a part of its shadows yet the moon shone brightly across the grave in front of him. The only grave that was left unopened. The only one not empty inside.

All those years ago he ordered not to engrave the name on the stone. He need not a reminder for he would never forget the girl that broke his heart by giving away hers. The one that was foolish enough not to see the monster that would take her life in the end. And he had loved her, my God he had loved her with all his human heart back in the day when he still had one. They could have had a future together, a simple life somewhere far from the shadows. But then his new nature turned out to be stronger than any feelings and he couldn’t have resisted. In all honestly, he hadn’t wanted to resist. Not yet being able to control his urges he had drunk het dry, blind with hunger and only when he had noticed the lifeless form in his arms had he realized what happened. She left behind a little baby, their newborn son, that Krolock vowed to raise and protect. He could have hated Herbert for all the ways in which he resembled his mother but it only made him love the boy even more. After some time his feelings towards Herbert had nothing to do with the overwhelming guilt and rotten love he had felt towards the late mother and he simply cherished him for who he was. But despite the deepest care for his son, despite the morality and dignity that he held on to, the grave served as a reminder of who he truly was. A monster capable of nothing more but destruction. And now he should remember it more than ever.

It had been foolish of him to care. It had been foolish of him not to take what he desired, by force or else. The most foolish of all though was a glimmer of hope that has sparked in his otherwise void heart, one that once extinguished left more emptiness than before. Of course, Sarah’s dark wishes were only a thing of her naïve youth that she would maybe abandon in favor of stability and family warmth. Alike her parents, alike everyone in that godforsaken village she would give birth to healthy, rosy children, take over the inn and die of old age, laughing on her deathbed at her own reckless stupidity as a child. By her side would be that feeble boy or some other man, holding her delicate hand, unable to preserve her life into eternity. The Sarah currently putting on a gown the color of her own blood didn’t know any better and he was afraid that if he denied her her awaited wish, she would go and take it from somebody else’s unliving hands. But she did not understand the burden of damnation, of that constant, insatiable greed spoiling the eternal life. Vampires were not meant for happiness as they were only fit for bringing death. And Krolock was not fit for any deeper emotions, certainly not anything alike love.

And it was not love from him that Sarah desired. How childish of him to assume that. She longed for freedom and passion and him seducing her must have been just another part of her fantasy. But he would not curse her with his presence. Whatever he touched he turned to ashes and she would not suffer the same fate from his hands. It suddenly made him really mad that she would consciously choose that life for herself. Throw away warmth, fulfillment, her future for such a cursed path. He would have turned back time and given it back if he could. Would have rotten in fresh soil for years but having lived a good life full of light. It was too late to make her change her mind but he refused to look at the spark burning out in her eyes as she realized through the years how dull and empty the existence of a vampire truly was.

***

If his heart had been full of blood, it would have been pounding by now. The graveyard vampires were starved out but luckily under his command – they wouldn’t touch Sarah even with one, dirty fingernail. He had a different treat for them in the form of his two unwelcomed guests. Krolock couldn’t care less for what happened to them, especially since they took advantage of his hospitality and meant him harm. No, it was something else that worried him, making him stand taller and stiffer than usual.

The double doors opened heavily and there she was. A low murmur went through the crowd as Sarah made her way inside. She truly looked beautiful, the crimson gown bringing out delicious blush to her pale features. The gemstones caught and reflected light like bloody droplets. They all could sense her heart beating rapidly in her chest but it was not out of fear. She looked around the ballroom and its guest in wonder, eyes sparkling with amazement. She paid no attention to the outstretched hands and barred teeth around her as if they couldn’t hurt her, as if they couldn’t rip her throat off in a second. Krolock walked towards her, not being able to take his eyes off of her the entire time. The worst though was the sense of _belonging_ that radiated off of her, as if she felt content surrounded by all the decay and horror. Then she finally noticed him and her heart sped up frantically as it usually did in his presence. It made Krolock clench his jaw to stop himself from letting his vampire nature take over and devour here right on the spot. He reached out with his hand, a welcoming gesture that hinted at dominance and heard her let out a relieved gasp. He has never met anyone more puzzling than Sarah Chagal. There was nothing about the entire situation that should have made her not only want to stay but most importantly feel happy. A warm palm slid into his and he pulled her into his arms with one strong tug.

They have never been this close before and a shadow of uncertainty flashed through her eyes before it got replaced by trust and something warm, hot even, that he chose to ignore. Her body softened, fitting so perfectly into his embrace. His hand cupped her cheek and with one finger he traced her lips that fell open deliciously. He made sure to not let any emotion show on his face. This was just an arrangement, an exchange. Before she could lean in any closer though he tossed her face to the side, eyes fixated on the pulse point, hot blood calling to him from her veins. Sarah struggled a little bit, out of reflex rather than anything else, but they were past the point of no return. Krolock leaned back before latching at her exposed neck. The last thing he noticed was a small, triumphant smile playing on her lips before he bit her.

For one glorious moment, he remembered what happiness felt like. Her blood blossomed hot and sweet on his tongue, the taste that much richer since it was truly willingly given. Not many considered the process an intimate one but Krolock did. In that moment he could feel all of her frustrations, her dreams, her hunger for _something more_ that had called to him all those years ago. The flavor was not spoiled even one bit by fear, instead being intoxicating with joy and desire. All that waiting turned out to be worth it. A trail of blood flowed down her neck from the bite, his eyes trailing behind it, before it colored her collarbone. He caught the droplets with his fingers and hungrily licked it off. Completely enthralled by pleasure only then did he look at the girl in his arms and stopped suddenly. Her face smooth and still in unconsciousness, features flawless. A memory flashed behind his eyes of another lifeless body in his arms from his past but he chased it away to the back of his mind. The taste of her blood still lingered on his tongue but now it was laced with a hint of guilt. She was still so young, so very beautiful and it was him that took her life away. Gifted with eternal life instead, something she had chosen for herself. A decision he could not comprehend. Bitterness took over him as he carried her limp body before she regained senses and could be put down on the floor again. She grasped at his arm with her trembling hands, confusion, and probably pain reflecting in her questioning gaze. It hurt him to not give her support but it was for their shared own good. Sarah got what she wanted. Soon she would get the boy who has been lurking around the corners and they would probably leave the castle together. She was immortal, free. There were no bounds binding her to this place, to Krolock. They would dance one last dance together to fulfill the tradition and he would let her to whatever her newly-transformed heart desired.

***

“Father.”

The castle has been exceptionally quiet compared to the events of the night before. Most of the nightly creatures already came back to their graves, only a handful still creeping down the halls. Herbert lingered by the door to his father’s study, leaning against the doorframe with his hip cocked to the side. Krolock remained silent, seated in his high chair by the fireplace, absentmindedly watching the red flames dancing. Herbert let out a huff of impatience but didn’t leave.

“I thought you wanted her to stay.”

“Maybe she didn’t want to stay after all.”

“How would you know that? The girl barely had enough strength to keep herself upright after the transformation, I believe she hardly knew what was happening around her. We could have stopped them.”

“No, we couldn’t have.” Krolock stood up, his face set, and voice stern. It only made Herbert stand his ground more fiercely. He got that after his father. “And Sarah got what she came here for. She _chose_ to be damned but at least it was her own decision. She’s free. No need for me to become another burden keeping her confined.”

“What were all endeavors for? Why bother for a mere mortal that you would end up tossing like a ragdoll once you were finished with her? I thought she meant something more to you, Father. That maybe you had—”

“I am incapable of any feelings other than greed and hunger.”

Herbert rolled his eyes.

“If you could only stop being so dramatic for once.”

Sensing his father had no desire to continue that topic any further Herbert turned on his heel and left the room. Krolock meant what he said. The sight of unconscious Sarah in his arms brought back many memories and reminded him of someone else he had cared for deeply and hurt. Reminded him of who he was. And he was a vampire who enjoyed playing with the lives of the innocent, didn’t care much for others, and was destined for a life in the shadows.

He heard footsteps approaching again so he stood up to sternly send Herbert away but froze in surprise. It was Sarah who stood by the doorway. He couldn’t get a word out, just stared the girl down in shock. He took in her run-down appearance and felt a flash of guilt. He was the reason why she had to wander and spend the night outside, probably hunting desperately and looking for shelter. There was a wicked beauty to her state, to the way her crimson gown was ruined, two small fangs against at her bottom lip, and a trail of blood the same color as the dress stained her chin. Gone was the innocent, lively girl from before, yet her eyes sparkled with the same ferocity.

“Please excuse the mess, Herbert brought me here right when I got to the castle, I didn’t have a chance to—” she started explaining herself as if her appearance was the most unusual and out-of-place thing about her. “I’m going to freshen up, if that’s okay with you.”

“No. Yes.” What a fool, stammering because of some little girl. “What I meant to say is no, I do not mind. Do whatever pleases you.”

He followed her to her bedchambers while she was still taking a bath and waited by the fireplace. He wasn’t sure what he meant to say to her or ask about but he couldn’t just pretend like that fateful night has never happened. And what was the reason for her coming back. She probably just need a safe place to live. He would provide her with that if that was the only thing that she wanted. There was enough room in the castle that she wouldn’t even have to speak to him if she didn’t wish to.

Sarah entered the room dressed how she did when she first arrived at his gate. Clean, a little rosy, barefoot, with the material clinging to her skin in places where it was still wet. She climbed on her bed and hugged her legs to her chest, comfortable and open. It was hard to believe she was a creature of the night now, as deadly as she was beautiful. He felt her eyes on him, studying him in silence as she had done many times in the past, as unnerving as ever. He always found it so hard to guess what was going on in that head of hers and it proved to be especially hard now since there was no heartbeat that he could read.

“What happened?” That short question that he finally asked to break the silence held many more in it. What happened when she left? What did she do? What made her come back?

“I killed a man. He lived alone so nobody saw me. I also slept at a cemetery because it was the only place I could think of at the time. A little silly of me.”

She said it as if it was nothing, as if it was normal for a girl of her age to take a man’s life. There was not a hint of concern or bitterness in her voice. It wasn’t what interested him the most though. He made sure to fix his gaze upon a particular candelabra in the room when he asked the next question, fighting with himself to make it sound as lightly as possible, dreading the answer.

“And the boy?”

“Alfred? What about him?”

“What happened to him?”

“I bit him and then left.”

“You did?” The statement and the light tone of her voice made him face her in surprise. In all honesty, he did consider the possibility of Sarah turning the boy into a vampire but he saw it as a means for them to be able to be together, for all eternity. Alfred was still young, still full of dreams and he seemed to be besotted with Sarah to the point of obsession. They could live a happy life together. He did not suspect Sarah would use him as a pawn to be thrown away later.

“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice. I was hungry.”

Krolock couldn’t help a small smile rising the corners of his mouth. It sounded so straightforward, so simple, so _obvious_. Sarah returned his smile, making him calm for the first time in a long time. He turned to leave, hoovering by the doorframe, with one last thing nagging at his mind.

“Did you really want it? Do you not regret it?”

“What? Becoming a vampire? I knew what I was getting myself into ever since your invitation. Although I’ll admit it was not the first thing that I had imagined when thinking about the ball.”

“What was it then?”

He wouldn’t have asked but something in her has changed, something that piqued his interest. A little shift in her body, a twitch to her fingers, a flutter of her eyelashes. She looked at him with that puzzling smile of hers for a moment before she stood up from the bed and walked up to him resolutely. All he could do was stand still and watch, fascinated. Sarah came to a halt right in front of him, climbed on her toes before placing her delicate palms on his face and pulling him in for a kiss. He could barely think, let alone do anything. The feel of her soft lips upon his was as intoxicating as drinking her blood and he instantly felt drunk on it. What struck him the most though was how overwhelming this feeling was and that he didn’t have to focus on anything else. Sarah was not mortal anymore, he didn’t have to be afraid of his instincts taking over and hurting her. She gave herself to him willingly and in his arms, she could finally find comfort and safety instead of death and destruction. His hand found the small of her waist and drew her body in closer. She deepened the kiss and he relished in the feeling of sweet oblivion. When he broke off the kiss Sarah tried to chase after his lips and leaned further into him. Krolock brushed her hair away from her face and rested his fingers at the crook of her neck, where her pulse point used to be. She shivered from the sensation which made Krolock chuckle. She opened her eyes and when their gazes met he realized he had never met anyone like her in all of his eternity. He was thankful he had forever to cherish that.

“What an interesting little creature you are.”

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading my other story from Sarah's POV and thanks for reading this one :)


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